As we approach several months of doing our part to “flatten the curve,” we may find ourselves working as diligently as possible (perhaps from home) while addressing the educational needs of children as well as caring for our households and other loved ones. Support systems girding everyday life such as childcare and close in-person contact with extended family members and friends have been altered, requiring novel ways of creating and maintaining community (hello Zoom Pictionary!).
During challenging times, connecting with our resilience and perhaps working to encourage it in others is more important than ever. This is especially true if we’ve previously experienced trauma or had mental health concerns, which may be compounded by normal stress reactions. So, what can we do to find and keep our footing in these extraordinary times?
There are many answers—perhaps as many as there are people. There simply is no one-size-fits all approach. A core component in strengthening our wellness muscles lies in increasing our awareness of change. Awareness allows us to recognize the impacts of changes to our foundations of normalcy.
How do you check in with yourself, your family and other loved ones during these stressful times? You may be finding yourself and others more short-tempered, worried anxious, or perhaps even feeling depressed.
Alternatively, you may be finding this time as a welcome respite of closeness and an opportunity to reorganize and reflect. There’s ultimately no wrong answer to how you’re feeling during this unprecedented time in history. In fact, it’s more likely that we each run the gamut of thoughts and feelings from day to day, even hour to hour.
Developing increased awareness, vocabulary and encouraging dialogue with others surrounding thoughts and feelings can help us feel more connected and supported even when we might have the instinct to push feelings down to make it through the day.
Resilience is a spectrum! Some days we simply may not feel as resilient as others, and that’s ok. Some days we just need a rest or to employ some of our best mechanisms for self-care interspersed with the myriad of to-do’s. For some, self-care is physical activity or even a good book. Music can both calm, and even stimulate when we need energy.
Switching off the news for a bit can be a salve. Others might take pen to paper or feel called to paint. Even a socially-distant walk in fresh air, being aware of our breath or finding a few quiet moments during the day regardless of where we are can be powerful allies in moving through the now. There are also currently a plethora of free relaxation and mindfulness apps for your phone (check out Breathe to Relax (Apple / Android), and Headspace, now FREE for all LA County residents).
Ultimately, give yourself permission to do the best you can and reach out when you need to for support and resources. Practice empathy with yourself and others. After all, while we watch and wait as the days unfold toward the new normal, we’re making it through this together!
Author: Tess Banko
Tess Banko, MSW/MPA, is Executive Director of UCLA’s first of it's kind partnered Veteran Family Wellness Center (VFWC) aboard the West Los Angeles VA campus. For appointments call (310) 478-3711 x 42793. Tess is also a Marine Corps veteran and an active member of American Legion Ronald Reagan-Palisades Post 283.